I posted this in 2004 on a blog very few people read. (Not the photo, just the text.) My ex and I met in 1998, started dating in '99, moved in together in 2000, and lived together until we split in 2013.
Revisiting old writing is wild. Evidence of dishonesty is startling. Be careful what you wish for.
The Work
An Opinion by Robert McEvily
If you're in a relationship, it's important to remind yourself as often as necessary that it's worth the work. And yes, relationships are work, despite the opinions of the young and oblivious.
Like most guys, I'm not a great communicator. I hate the phone, I hate explaining myself, I just hate small talk in general. My girlfriend, like most women, loves to talk. About her friends. About her hair. About the upcoming election. About everything.
This is not a good mix.
At my worst, I'm short-tempered, self-absorbed, stubborn, and immature. At my best, I'm a good listener, fair-minded, non-judgmental, and dynamite in the sack. (What, you don't believe me? COME HERE, AND I'LL SHOW YOU!)
Sometimes I think how nice it'd be to be alone again. Have the time I need for myself. All the time in the world. The time to write and think and draw and paint and goof off and watch sports and work out and learn Italian and on and on and on. The time to better myself. But then I think about life without her, truly without her. Without her juicy ass and attention to detail and unexpected warmth and occasional shyness. Yes, we fight, and I hate it, but I really just need to get over myself. The grass ain't greener, kids. Relationships are what you make them. They're work, and they're worth the work. THEY'RE WORTH THE WORK GODDAMMIT!
Be nicer to your partner.
There. Lecture over.